Wrapping Up Holiday Stress and Depression

As we head into this frantic, emotionally charged time of year, we may all benefit by taking advantage of some important tips on managing stress and depression during the holiday season. Regardless of how you spend your holidays -- whether you race nonstop from shopping to socializing, or if you withdraw from the crowds and wish for it all to end, or even if things just can't be how they used to be -- planning ahead can make your season
much brighter.

The following strategies and tips are helpful for anyone wishing for a holiday season filled with less stress and more cheer.

Set Realistic Expectations
Reminiscing about special times during the holidays can be enjoyable, but dwelling on the past can become depressing. The same is true if you compare your own situation to someone else's, or to what the media presents as the "norm." If your expectations are too high, you may end up feeling disappointed. For someone who is already affected by a loss or depression,
this disappointment may serve to worsen these feelings.

Overly ambitious resolutions at New Year's can also lead to failure and disappointment. Whatever habit or behavior you want to change has probably been with you for many years -- so switching it on or off overnight is often impossible. Make a resolution to change gradually, and celebrate the small victories along the way.

Create New Traditions
Sometimes staying with old traditions can mean too much work, too many memories, or they may just not fit in with your new situation. Don't lament over what has changed. Instead, decide what will work best with your schedule and energy level. Maybe you will change the time you have a family meal, rearrange visits, or possibly attend a different religious service. Don't be afraid to do things in a new way.

Reduce Your Workload
Stress increases as people take on more than they can handle -- even with regards to socializing and other enjoyable activities. To keep stress down, start by setting your priorities and be realistic about your limitations. Organize your time and pace yourself to avoid exhaustion. Delegate errands and chores whenever possible, so you can get through the holiday without overextending yourself. A friend or family member may be happy to run an errand for you, and children can be good helpers with wrapping, decorating, and even baking.

Writing down all the jobs and activities you typically perform over the holiday season -- such as decorating, baking, attending parties, entertaining, cleaning, meal preparation, holiday cards, shopping, wrapping, and gift giving -- is also a good idea. Decide how important each thing is to you and how much you enjoy the activity. Of those you decide to do again this year, are you able to share the work involved or have someone else take care of it? You may also think of a faster or easier way to accomplish the same task.
Shopping early in the season or early in the day can help you to avoid crowds, traffic jams, and long lines. Purchasing gift certificates also saves much time and trouble.

Using mail-order catalogs or ordering over the computer are other great ways to streamline your gift giving. You can often have the things you order gift-wrapped before they are shipped as well. If inclement weather is an issue, catalog shopping can help you to stay in the safety and comfort of your home, and it also gives you the option to have gifts delivered right to the recipients' homes, if you wish.

Manage Your Money
Decide what you can really afford to spend and don't go beyond your means. Friends and relatives will understand if the gifts you give are modest in comparison to previous years or what others are spending. Holidays are for giving and not receiving; no one would want you to overspend on his or her gift. Let your older children know in advance that you have set limits on what will be spent on gifts to avoid unexpected disappointment.

The same is true for other purchases over the holiday season. From food to fashion, sticking to a budget will help to keep things under control. If you need to use credit cards, try to pay off the bills in full with the first statement. Overspending causes stress that can last long into the New Year, and can also put added strain on a marriage.

Seek Support and Express Your Feelings
Talking about your troubles, listening to others, and expressing what is on your mind can help you to feel better. You may benefit by telling those around you what you need from them. Spending time with people who care about you can provide the support that you may need during the holidays. This is especially true if you have experienced a loss or have feelings of grief.

If you are alone, you may want to get in touch with an old friend that you have not heard from in a while. You can also go to a religious center (such as a church or synagogue) to meet new friends or talk with someone in the clergy. Religious or spiritual involvement can improve one's inner wellbeing. Another idea is to join a support group-- many are listed in your local paper or are sponsored by MSAA.

Stress and Depression
If you find that you are experiencing significant depression or overwhelming stress, you may need to seek professional help. Warning signs can include:
  • A loss of energy or interest
  • Feeling out of control
  • Increased consumption of medications, alcohol, caffeine, or cigarettes
  • Increased health problems
  • Difficulties in sleeping or waking
  • Inability to concentrate and/or memory
    problems
  • Increased irritability
  • Thoughts of suicide

Please contact a physician or counselor if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms to a significant degree. Anyone having thoughts of suicide should seek professional help immediately.

Prepare for Family Stress
So often we look forward to getting together with family, and at the same time, we may feel dread about the same old issues that have caused stress among family members for years. Perhaps you have a sibling that can sometimes be irritating, or a parent that simply drives you crazy at the holiday. And for children of divorced parents, the holiday can mean fighting for time and getting pulled from one family event to another.

Taking the time to recognize the issues in advance can save much stress and aggravation. Communicating your feelings, making compromises, and limiting your time with difficult family members may help to spare everyone's sanity. Perhaps taking part in an entire meal causes too much stress, and maybe you should consider just coming by after dinner. Some may find that going away for the holiday makes life easier-- and that's an option too.

Stay Healthy
If you want to feel good over the holidays, you really need to take care of yourself. Be sure to eat healthy foods and limit your portions. This can be very challenging when so many high-calorie, high-sugar foods are at the center of holiday celebrations. Alcohol is another temptation that comes with the parties and get-togethers. Overindulging on sweets and/or alcoholic drinks can cause your blood sugar to rise and fall quickly -- which not only leads to stronger cravings for food, but can also pose a danger for anyone with blood-sugar problems, such as diabetes or hypoglycemia.

Eating a high-protein snack an hour or two before a big meal or party can help to keep your appetite under control. Eat and drink in moderation to avoid headaches and stomach problems. While it may be temporarily comforting, excessive drinking can increase depression. Individuals need to watch out for food allergies as well.

In addition to controlling what you eat and drink, you also need to get enough exercise and sleep. Exercise may help to relieve stress, burn some of those added holiday calories, and enable you to sleep more soundly. A good night's sleep will help you to deal more easily with stress and provide more energy when needed. Always consult your physician before starting any exercise program or making any changes to your diet.

Do Things to Make Yourself Happy
This should be obvious to us all, but so often we become wrapped up in other things and miss out on this basic need. We should all do the things that make us happy, and don't feel that you must spend all of your time with family and friends over the holidays. For some, staying home and relaxing is very therapeutic, while others may need to get out of the house for a change of pace.

During the holiday season, enjoy the simple things that don't cost much money -- such as listening to holiday music, making a trip out at night just to see the holiday lights and decorations, or going window shopping without the pressure of having to buy anything. Recall old times (without dwelling on them) and maybe go through photo albums or watch family movies. Include children in your holiday and share in their excitement.

Helping others is another way to feel good and lift depression. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen, church, or animal rescue center. You can also contribute by repairing toys, or making baked goods or crafts, and then donating them to those less fortunate or to charity fund-raisers.

These tips are helpful for anyone who wishes to reduce holiday stress and depression. Planning ahead and avoiding typical holiday pitfalls -- such as overindulging or staying home alone -- can make a big difference in how you feel during and after the holiday season.

If you have any questions about holiday stress or depression, or if you need to talk about a difficult situation, MSAA has a staff of client consultants ready to take your call. You may reach them by calling 1-800-532-7667. You may also visit our website at www.msaa.com.

Sources for this article include: